This is a guest post.
Divorce is never easy but, with some planning and preparation, it can go more smoothly than you might expect. In Alabama, and many other states, the simplest and smoothest option for ending a marriage is to file for an uncontested or “no-fault” divorce.
- Uncontested divorce: You and your partner both agree on all matters relating to the divorce, including custody, division of assets and so forth.
- “No-fault” divorce: The grounds for divorce are due to incompatibility or the inability to reconcile, but neither spouse is to blame for ending the marriage.
Here’s what you should do to prepare for a smooth divorce process.
Evaluate Your Options and Communicate
Too often, people make snap or emotional decisions and regret them later. By making sure you’re getting divorced for the right reasons and have tried everything you can (and are willing to) to make the marriage work, you can save yourself regret later. Only file for divorce once you’ve taken the time to reevaluate your marriage and what it is you want for the future.
Once you’ve decided to get a divorce, you need to commit. If your spouse doesn’t know the marriage is over, tell them as calmly as possible to minimize the stress or emotional pain. Don’t wait for them to find out from someone else first as it can cause more conflict. If children are involved, speak with them honestly with your partner present. And above all else, avoid placing blame.
Get an Attorney or Mediator
You and your spouse should each have a separate divorce lawyer in Huntsville or wherever you are residing to represent you during the process. If your spouse is amicable, consider mediation. A mediator can help keep the proceedings civil and cut the costs of legal fees as you reach a settlement. If the case does go to court, it will be more expensive, emotionally taxing and time-consuming.
Lean on Others for Support
It’s okay to rely on loved ones for support, but you should also consider speaking with a counselor or someone who’s gone through what you’re going through. Look for people who offer unbiased insight to help you keep things in perspective and ease your way through the process. If things become too stressful at home, or if your spouse becomes manipulative or verbally abusive, then don’t engage. Instead, stay with friends or family until they’re calmer.
Stay Active and Protect Yourself
Regardless of how amicable the divorce process is, it’s important to be involved and protect yourself. Learn how the divorce process works, take control of your part in it and be actively involved. Here are some things you can do:
- Prioritize personal finances, not only to pay for the divorce but to prepare yourself for the future.
- If you don’t currently work, update your resume and start applying for jobs.
- Gather any relevant information and documentation regarding your contributions to the marriage for the best possible settlement.
- Open a new, separate bank account and, if possible, quit using shared accounts. This can prevent any confusion over expenses during the divorce.
- Prepare to remove your spouse from your will so they are not part of it once the marriage is officially over.
Be Upfront About What You Want
Alabama is an equitable distribution state, like many others, meaning that assets (and liabilities) are split equally but not necessarily 50/50. Discuss any existing debt, assets and joint accounts with your spouse, mediator or attorney. Everything from shared property to retirement and pension accounts count as assets and will need to be divided.
If you have kids with your partner, consider whether you want sole or shared custody. Custody battles could take months or years to finalize, so speak with your spouse and your attorney about the possibility of shared custody.
Stand up for what you want but be willing to negotiate. That way, there’s a good chance the divorce process will stay out of court and go more smoothly.
Look to the Future
Even the smoothest divorce process can be incredibly taxing but remember it’s also a transitional period in your life that will eventually come to an end. Try to keep perspective. By doing your part to ensure the dissolution of your marriage is as peaceful as possible, you can prepare for the future that you want.
This is a very interesting post. I think divorce could be a very difficult thing but this makes it sound like it might not be so traumatic. I hope I never have this to worry about.
Right. I would hope it could go easy.
Great article! I pray that I am never in that seat but love to have the info at bay if needed!
Agreed.
Yikes, this would be tough to go through. But I would hope for a smooth one. I hear some horror stories!
Agreed. I have heard so many stories myself.
Definitely not fun to go through divorce. But it is vital to know these helpful tips that would support a person through divorce proceedings.
Yes, it sure is.
Hoping that I never need this information. But it’s great for those that will!
Agreed.
This post is really informative, it’s so important to have a great support system.
Yes, it really is.
I truly hope I never have to prepare for something like this. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
Right. I agree.
The process there sounds easy and fast. Here in Philippines, it’s next to imposibble.
It sure could get messy. You never know.
Thanks for the tips and knowledge you shared about this . So helpful. I’ll share this to My social media.
Of course. I’m glad you’re able to share.
A divorce is always a draining and traumatic process. These are some really sensible suggestions for smoothening the process.
Yes, it sure is.
I know so many people who need this advice! Hoping I can pass some of this information to them and help them.
I’m glad you’re able to pass it along.
I have witnessed both an easy divorce and a messy divorce. It is so much better when you have all your personal and legal documents and support all together.
Yes, that is for sure.
Divorce can be highly stressful and draining. These tips will help those who are going through a divorce to cope with the challenges of a new office setup.
I’m so glad they are going to be helpful.
Evaluate, communicate and lean on your ever-ready support system. Don’t go on the journey alone
Yes, for sure.
Divorce is not ever easy. I think everyone need a period of time for their thoughts, to be sure that it’s the right thing and to get prepared.
Right.
this is super helpful. divorce is never an easy process, and one can get overwhelmed
It sure isn’t.
I have never been through a divorce so it was interesting to read. I agree you need to protect yourself and to be aware of the process and things you need to do.
There really is a lot to consider for sure.
This is such a helpful article with great tips. Divorce definitely seems like a difficult process so it’s super important to remember all of this.
Yes, for sure.
Hopefully, many of those needing a divorce would have a SMOOTH DIVORCE PROCESS. THis tips are good.
Agreed.
Those are all wonderful points to keep in mind and thanks for sharing this informative post with us.
Of course.